I only kidnapped one of them. chill
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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