I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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