The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
