I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
