drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
