I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
