we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize