I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
