My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
