were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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