I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
