yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
