I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
