She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
