I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
