I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
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