guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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