i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize