Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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