When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize