I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize