his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
