i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
