If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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