Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
