yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
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Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
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Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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