Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
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