You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
