i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
