i don't like sucking hair
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
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