I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I want to have your abortion
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Randomize
