i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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