"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
