Where did you get a picture of my penis
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I deserve this hangover.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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