you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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