im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
