i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
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I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
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I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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