I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
