So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
