so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
