You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She's the barista slut.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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