I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
my being single is dangerous.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
