i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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