This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
