I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Is it penis luge time yet?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
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