Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
