hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
