You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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