Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
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I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
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If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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