And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
