hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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