There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize