So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
