Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
