Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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