why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize