I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
