you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize