just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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