have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
